A Counsellor's Story
by david.davies.5851
Summary: Tie in story to The Order Redeems. Master Ticarti Mai tells a group of Jedi Younglings about her role as a Jedi Healer and counsellor. She does it by telling them the story of Ahsoka's treatment. This story will also cover the views of other Jedi on the events in The Order Redeems. Rated teen for obvious reasons
1. Chapter 1: Hello Class

**Hi Everyone. As promised, here is the first chapter of the tie in story of The Order Redeems. This story is told from the point of view of Master Ticarti Mai as she tells the story to some Jedi younglings and covers Ahsoka's treatment. It will go into some detail about what is going on in Ahsoka's head before, during and after her decision to re-join the order, well what Ticarti can ascertain anyway. This story will also cover the opinions of some other characters about the affair as they talk to Ticarti. In addition, this story may cover the treatment of Katooni; if you have read chapter 20 of the Order Redeems, then you will know what I'm speaking of by that. In terms of time, this story, once Ticarti starts telling it, starts around about chapter 9 of The Order Redeems. Anyway, here's the first chapter, just to see how things go. Just a note, Ticarti is telling the story about a year after the event.**

**A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 1 – Hello Class**

There's no doubt about it, younglings are curious creatures; very curious. Indeed, there are no younglings in the galaxy that are more curious then Jedi younglings; their very training is designed to make them curious about the various things in the galaxy; after all, knowledge is the second pillar of being a Jedi. It doesn't matter whether it's the latest star fighter design or the latest gossip about which Jedi Master is going out with who, Jedi younglings are all over it and with some gusto.

Therefore, once this clan's leader, Master Shaak TI, told them that since a couple of them showed promise in healing, one of the Order's leading Jedi Healers, Master Ticarti Mai, was coming to give them a talk about being a Jedi Healer, the whole clan, especially the male younglings, suddenly became incredibly interested. This was almost certainly because the younglings had thoughts of being told about lightsaber wounds and severed limbs and such. However, as it turned out, as she stood before the youngling clan, Master Mai had a very different story of treatment in mind for them; one that in fact turned out to be far more important to the order and the Republic as a whole.

"Good afternoon Thranta Clan," Master Mai stated in a friendly manor. She could sense a great detail of interest and fascination in the younglings before her. As usual, she was dressed in a yellow top and a light red skirt. Since she was talking to kids, older kids but still kids, she decided to not to wear her light grey Jedi robe over the top and as was usual for her, she was not carrying her lightsaber and as usual, she had left it in her quarters.

"Good afternoon Master Mai," the younglings replied.

Smiling at their interest, Ticarti said, "As you know, I'm a Jedi healer, but I am also a fully trained counsellor; the only one in the order at the moment and I'm here to give you some idea about what I do and how I help people. To do that, I'm going to tell you a story about a true case I was assigned; one of the most important cases in the recent history of the Jedi Order in fact; that of the now Jedi Knight Ahsoka Tano." There were murmurs all around the younglings after hearing this before Ticarti spoke again, "Have any of you met Ahsoka?"

A little red skinned Lethan Twi'lek female rose her hand and answered, "Yes, I have; Master Tano and her Padawan, Eleesha, escorted my mechanics class on a field trip to the Kuat shipyards. I really liked her; she's lovely and her ship, I think it's called '_The New Horizon_', is brilliant."

A couple of younglings nodded their agreement and one human male youngling added, "Yes I've met her as well," he then blushed, "I found her very nice."

Ticarti had to laugh slightly as she sensed the young boy's meaning, 'Don't say that to Senator Lux Bonteri,' she thought to herself. She then stated, "I'm glad some of you have met her as she is now one of the Order's most loved Knights, however a year ago, she was in pieces after being falsely accused of murder and raped and in response, she had left the Order." All the younglings sat up straight and gave Ticarti their full attention after that, Ticarti then continued, "Her former master Anakin Skywalker, now a member of the high council, and his padawan, Katooni, along with Obi-Wan Kenobi found her starving on Shili and brought her back to the temple for treatment. Her physical treatment went as normal, however I was brought in when her mental health was found to be damaged."

"Did you give her counselling Master?" one of the younglings asked.

"Yes I did, and that's the story I'm going to tell you. Now, when would be best to begin?" Ticarti mused her own question for a few seconds before she raised a finger and added "Ah yes…I'm going to take us back to the most important day in recent galactic history, the day the Darth Sidious, or Chancellor Palpatine as he was known, was defeated."

"Wasn't that also the day that the code was altered to allow love Master Mai?" another youngling asked.

"Yes it was child, as I said, a very important day. Now how to start? Ah yes…"

-0-0-0-0-0-

**One year previously – Master Ticarti Mai's Point of view**

As the Jedi Order's only healer that is trained as a counsellor, I'm often called to see civilian patients; most of whom had suffered one form of mental breakdown or another. Indeed, that was the case on that occasion and I had just got back to the temple from seeing said patient in Galactic City Hospital. As I entered the temple, I could sense that something big had happened although I couldn't at that point determine what it was.

Whatever was going on, I could sense it was important, but since I could also sense that there was no danger, I just continued on my way to my quarters. Once inside, I noticed that there was a holoNews broadcast that had been saved in the memory of the holo player. To my amazement, I noticed from the time stamp that the recording was from four hours before; my civilian patient really had kept me late this time.

Turning the recording to play, I stood there in absolute shock as I watched Chancellor Palpatine being taken down. I must say, that I never liked that guy; he always seemed false to me, but I never guessed that he was Darth Sidious. A Sith Lord was Chancellor of the Republic? Even though I'm a Jedi, I still found that unsettling and scary. As the payback continued, I watched Master Windu's address to the stunned and frightened senate.

"_Members of the senate, we know that Palpatine has been making it look like we intend to overthrow the senate. I can assure you, that is not the case. As proof of this, we now call on this senate to elect a new chancellor who values peace. Since this does not concern the Jedi Order, we bid you all good night and may the Force be with you."_

As the recording shut down, I realised the council had just saved the Republic and the whole Jedi Order. A part of me was slightly sorry that I had not been in the temple to assist, but sometimes my duties as a healer and counsellor sometimes interfere with my duties as a Jedi even though I try to undertake missions in the galaxy when I can.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door; I could instantly sense that it was former Padawan, Jak Nabrar. Like me he was human, but from Corellian decent so, like all Corellians, he was very reckless and impulsive in his youth. I remember having to calm him down on many occasions, which wasn't that easy since I was just a twenty three year old girl myself at the time. He had passed his trials just three months before and I was elevated to Master at the same time.

As I opened the door, I didn't need the Force to tell he had something big he wanted to tell me, and as I turned out I was right, but, I didn't expect what he told me. "Hello Master," he began, "Have you heard? It's all over the temple. The council have altered the code…Jedi…..er…we are now allowed relationships and to marry."

For the second time that night I stood there in shock; at last the council had scrapped that inhuman rule. I had been hoping for years that, one day, the code would be altered this way. As a counsellor, I can't tell you the number of Jedi Padawans and Knights that have come to me after having their hearts torn in two because of that archaic code after finding someone they have connected with.

I had to think though that something big must have happened to make the council make this decision; they were practically married to the code themselves. I would go as far as to say they were breaking the code themselves by how attached they were to it, but that's not really for me to say. Anyway, I just had to press Jak; he seemed to know all about it, "That's brilliant news; at last, they've made a good decision, but Jak, do you have any idea what caused them to make it?"

He mused for a second before replying, "Not really, but there is a rumour going around that it was something to do with Anakin Skywalker being married to senator Amidala. Also something about his former Padawan was mentioned, but no details were said."

Ah yes, the chosen one; I had met Anakin Skywalker when he was still Obi-Wan's Padawan but I doubt he would remember. I was just an ordinary healer then and hadn't yet done my counsellor training. In addition, I had only been knighted a few years myself at that point. I treated him when he got injured on one his first missions he was allowed on. I'm not surprised to find him married; at the time he struck me as a kid that the code wouldn't sit right with.

His former Padawan though? Oh yes, that poor Togruta girl who was falsely accused of masterminding the bombing of the temple a month before. I hadn't actually met her at that point, but of course I had heard of her. After that, I'm not surprised that the girl left the Order. I must admit, I was stunned when I found out who the true perpetrator was. If I hadn't have seen the confession on the holoNet, I would never have believed it. I actually trained Barriss Offee on some aspects of Force Healing at one point; I can't believe she turned to the Dark Side like that.

By this point, I realised that I had zoned out slightly and responded with, "Well Jak, I guess we'll find out the full details at some point." I then remembered something from my memory; something that Jak didn't know that I'd noticed, "So Jak, now that it's allowed, what are you going to do about that girl in the canteen?"

His wide eyes stared at me, "What do you mean Master?"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh come on my former Padawan. I've watched you stare at that girl with the long blonde hair in the canteen for the last two years. I can sense your attraction to her and hers to you in fact." I always did enjoy teasing Jak. I have always told him that I never believed in the attachment rule.

The blush on his face was hysterical when he replied, "You noticed that? Er…..well…..I'm not going to do anything I guess. I doubt she likes me."

He was hopeless; truly hopeless, "Listen to me Jak; I know you're a Knight now, but you will obey this order. You are to go to the canteen when she is next on duty and you're going to ask her to dinner. Understand?"

He looked at me with utter shock, but replied, "Yes Master."

"Good," I replied, "Thanks for telling me this and I hope it goes well for you with that girl."

"Thanks Master," he replied as he walked off down the corridor.

As I shut the door, I went over everything in my head. Things had really changed that day with Darth Sidious going down and attachments being allowed at last. It was truly one of the most important days in the history of the Jedi Order and I found out that for me, it still wasn't finished when I heard another knock on the door. This time I could sense it was Master Shaak Ti.

I opened the door again, "Ah good evening Master Ti." Shaak Ti and I were quite good friends and had been since I was called to counsel a young Togruta boy that Shaak found that had been kidnapped by pirates.

"That's formal for you Ticarti," she replied.

"Just proving to a council member that I can do it when I want Shaak," was my less than formal reply. I've never liked formality, especially with patients, which is why I always insist they call me Ticarti rather than Master Mai.

She shook her head and held her hands up in surrender, "You never change, do you Ticarti? As you may have guessed, this isn't just a social call."

"No, I guessed that. Jak has already told me about the attachment rule being lifted."

"Yes it has, which I for one am happy about," Shaak said to me. She then smirked, "but it required the rest of us on the council to silence Mace about it. He's not happy he lost I can tell you, but tough." At this point, I could sense Shaak's emotions change as she gained a sad look on her face, "Poor Ahsoka's condition is mostly his fault. That is why I'm here," she handed me a datapad, "I know it's unusual, but the council are assigning you a case. You know Anakin Skywalker's former Padawan Ahsoka Tano has been rushed back into the healers after leaving the Order, well she is in a terrible state, physically and mentally. I broke down in tears in front of the council myself when we were told. We are asking you to be her counsellor; Force knows, she's going to need it."

Actually I didn't know she was getting treated here at the temple; I didn't even know she had been found. This didn't surprise me; since I became the Order's only current counsellor, the council of healers no longer told me of every case that came into the Halls of Healing. I was only informed of cases that required counselling or required healing techniques that I specialised in before my counselling training.

I could sense Shaak's distress at the situation. No doubt, the fact that the girl in question was another Togruta was only adding to Shaak's distress. Her people were rare in the Jedi, so I guessed Shaak regarded the loss of Ahsoka Tano to the Order as a bitter blow. I nodded and said, "OK Shaak, I'll take a look." I started to skim through the file on the datapad and I could feel my eyes widen, "I guess I've got a lot of reading."

"Yes you have," Shaak stated, "and none of it pleasant."

"Right, well, I guess I'd better get started. By the sound of it, I'll need to start with this girl as soon as possible."

"Yes, I think you will Ticarti," Shaak said, "Well, I'll leave you do your homework." She left my room and I closed the door behind her. After getting myself a cup of tea, I settled down to read through the file. As I read, my heart went out to Ahsoka Tano, even though I'd never met her. Being falsely accused of terrorism and murder was bad enough, but being raped and tormented by Force visions of Darth Sidious and finally, almost starving to death on her home world on top was unthinkable. I was startled when I read that it was her visions that led to the council knowing about Palpatine being Sidious. In my mind, this girl was a heroine and even though, at this point, I wasn't sure if even I could really help, I was determined I would give it my very best. Despite what Master Yoda says, there is always a 'try'. Sometimes it's all we can do.

**Well, there you have it. That's the first chapter of the tie in story I promised. This is the first time I've wrote first person perspective so if there are any errors, then I apologise. If you have read 'The Order Redeems', you may have noticed I've given you some info about Ahsoka's future Padawan here. Anyway, what do you all think? Is it worth continuing this? Just a note, future chapters will be longer than this. This is just a test.**


	2. Chapter 2: The First Meet

**Hello everyone, here's the second chapter. This chapter will cover the first appointment between Ticarti and Ahsoka and will cover the conversation the two of them have in chapter 11 of The Order Redeems. This chapter will go into depth about what Ticarti was thinking of Ahsoka's answers and exactly why Ticarti knew Ahsoka was asking herself questions. Again, it's Master Ticarti Mai's point of view.**

**A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 2 – The First Meeting**

It was early morning when I finally realised that I'd been reading up on this case for most of the night and believe me, between Ahsoka's physical medical condition, the situation of her discovery by Anakin, Obi-Wan and Katooni, her rape, her visions of Darth Sidious and the circumstances of her trial and false imprisonment, there was a lot of reading.

I couldn't help but feel annoyed by the council; I had noticed myself that they had started to lack compassion recently and this just confirmed it. I just sighed; it wasn't the first time I'd been mad at the council and I doubt it would be the last. At least they did the right thing by allowing marriage and allowing poor Ahsoka to get treated here. It was at this point that I finally made it to bed that night.

After waking up the following day and eating breakfast, I turned my attention to my requirements that day. Being a Master and a healer, a medical data terminal was installed in my quarters so I could check on my patients and my appointments before I left for the Halls of Healing. To my relief the only patient I needed to see that day was Ahsoka; I blinked initially when I read in healing records that the first appointment with her was that afternoon. It had initially been in the morning, but the council had pushed it back for some reason but there was no mention of what that reason was.

I therefore decided to do some more preparation. I spent the morning doing research on anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. Given how bad Ahsoka seemed to be, even though she was hiding it and coping with it well according to the file, I felt it was prudent to find what which medications were safe for Togrutans. Although I never like prescribing drugs for mental health issues, I had to consider the possibility that it may have been required in this case.

I had managed, after some considerable searching (Togrutas aren't the easiest species to find medical information on), to create myself a shortlist of suitable medications so I left my quarters for the Halls of healing. I was very surprised to say the least to see Master Luminara Unduli just leaving the Halls of Healing, "Luminara, nice to see you. What are you doing in the Halls? You haven't hurt yourself I hope."

She smiled at me and I could sense a mix of emotions from her, relief, shock, admiration and joy. The shock and joy surprised me; you don't often get those emotions in the wards. "No it's nothing like that Ticarti," she replied to me, "In fact; I've just taken Ahsoka back to her room in the Halls."

Now that surprised me; what was Ahsoka doing out of her room in that condition? Given her condition, I had the thought that, maybe, she had tried to run. Such responses are not uncommon in patients who are suffering from P.T.S.D., as Ahsoka clearly was; I could tell that just from the file. Frowning, I asked her, "What was she doing out of her room? Did she run?"

Luminara looked at me rather bizarrely, I could almost sense her thinking, 'Whatever gave you that idea?' She however answered, "No, the council gave her permission to visit Barriss in prison. Ahsoka insisted that she could bring Barriss back to the light." Luminara's face beamed and I could sense her immense joy as she continued, "I escorted her there. I was amazed when she actually did it. She called me to enter the cell and when I did, I saw Barriss crying on Ahsoka's shoulder; all her darkness gone. How that poor girl found the strength to drive the darkness out of Barriss, I will never know. I tell you one thing Ticarti, there is something special in Ahsoka; I will never be able to pay her back for this; I owe her Barriss' life potentially."

"Barriss was sentenced to death wasn't she?" I replied. I remember crying myself slightly after I had heard the news of her sentence.

I could see a tear in Luminara's eye as she responded, "Yes…Yes she was. Although she deserved it after bombing the temple, killing those clones and framing Ahsoka, I still cried for most of the night. Barriss is the nearest thing to a daughter I've got; hence why I owe Ahsoka so much. The council gave me permission to take Barriss in front of them if Ahsoka succeeded. Now that she has and Barriss has come back, there's a chance her life could be spared."

I nodded; I wondered myself how Ahsoka was able to bring Barriss back. I read in the file that before all this, Ahsoka and Barriss were best friends; maybe that had something to do with it. I suspected however that Ahsoka must have dove into the Force; I must remember to ask her about redeeming Barriss during the appointment. "So where is Barriss?" I asked.

"With temple security," Luminara replied, "I'm going to collect her now to take her in front of the council. I pray to the Force that they will allow her to live."

"I hope so too. Now she has come back, she does deserve it. It takes a lot of spirit to come back from the Dark Side." Secretly, I hoped so for Ahsoka's sake as well. The fact that she was willing to overlook the betrayal to try and bring back the girl who framed her proved how important Barriss was to Ahsoka.

Luminara nodded to me, "So Ticarti, what are you up to at the moment?"

I smiled, "Actually, the council have just assigned me Ahsoka's case. I'm going to be her counsellor."

Gaining a rather large smile, Luminara said, "Well Ticarti, I'm so glad that girl is going to get some real help. Do me a favour Ticarti; try to get her to do something with her life. The thought of that poor girl living the rest of her life alone on Shili is heart-breaking."

Alone on Shili? That was interesting; I will have to remember to talk about that when I see Ahsoka; though perhaps not during the first appointment. "Well, I'll try to get the best outcome for her Luminara. You know me, I always try to."

Luminara smiled, "I know; you're one of a kind Ticarti. Anyway, I need to get Barriss in front of the council so I'll leave you with Ahsoka. Good luck with her, I hope you can heal her. Bye my friend."

"Goodbye Luminara; I'll see you soon" I sated as I walked away. I instantly realised what an interesting conversation that had been. I also realised that Ahsoka was going to be even more complicated and fascinating than I thought. Even without meeting her, I now knew that there was something interesting going on in her head. Yes fascinating indeed.

I spent the next hour checking up on notes and obtaining the medications I had previously listed. Although I don't want to put Ahsoka on medication, I decided to have them on me if I found I really needed to. All the time I was doing this, I just had to wonder how Barriss had got on with the council. I had to admit I had been fond of the Mirialan Padawan myself when I had given her some instruction; still, I suppose that was up to the council. I looked up from what I was doing and noticed from the chrono on the wall that it was time for my appointment with Ahsoka. I paused for a second to collect my thoughts and headed off to her room.

I walked into Ahsoka's room. I could instantly see and sense her checking me out. She was staring at me with her crystal blue eyes; it was at that point I remembered that she hadn't met me before and had never seen a counsellor before. She probably had no clue what I was about to ask her or what was about to happen; even I have to admit that sometimes we counsellors can be unsettling when our patients first meet us so I decided to be as friendly and open as I could be.

"Good afternoon Ahsoka" I stated. I made a conscious effort to smile at her to put her at much ease as was possible. I then continued, "I'm Master Ticarti Mai. I have been assigned to assist you overcome your ordeal."

I must say, I was slightly surprised when she blinked at me. I could sense she was slightly taken aback about something but it wasn't particularly important. She suddenly broke out into a smile of her own before she replied, "Good afternoon Master Mai."

Hmmmm, that was formal; very formal. I began to wonder about that instantly; Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi so such formality wasn't required. Why was she doing that? I instantly realised that a part of her was still a Jedi even though she didn't know it; I must press that at some point. Nevertheless, as I've stated before, I'm not keen on such formality so decided to put her right about that, "Please, just call me Ticarti. I don't like the Jedi formalities when dealing with patients." I began to sense some confusion with in her. I wondered if she quite knew how she was, so I asked, "So Ahsoka, how do you feel?"

My suspicion of her confusion was confirmed when she stopped for a second; I could sense her asking herself the same question before she eventually replied, "Happier than I was I guess."

Happier than she was? What did she mean by that? Happier than what? Still those were questions for the future. For now I just decided to be a bit awkward try to get her to think, so composed my next question accordingly, "That's great, but why do you feel happier?"

I could sense that Ahsoka was initially stumped by that question; which of course had been my plan. Her final response was more than I expected, "Um, things are going better I suppose. The evil Palpatine is dead the guy that raped me is in custody and I brought Barriss Offee back to the light earlier so I've got my best friend back."

I was taken aback by her response. There was no way I was touching the subject of Tarkin raping her yet; it was way too soon. I knew that Ahsoka wouldn't trust me yet. In fact after what happened to her, I'd doubt she would trust anyone at that moment. That in fact was my first goal in this case, as indeed, it always was, gaining the trust of the patient. I did notice that she brought up something I planned to ask her anyway; the redemption of Barriss which had intrigued me since Luminara spoke about it. I therefore just decided to ask about it, "Yes, Luminara told me about that. You have made her very happy. That was a wonderful thing you did Ahsoka. Tell me, where did you get the strength to do that?"

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted my best friend back so I did what I had to do to make it happen." I noticed that Ahsoka had broken out into a grin, which I found interesting in itself. She then continued "I guess the Force helped me also."

As I thought; I knew she must have drawn on the Force somehow from what Luminara told me. The fact that she said she wanted her best friend back also raised questions in my mind; it seemed she thought she was losing everything in her life, which I suppose in some ways she was. I had to wonder at that stage if her brain really wanted to make the decisions she had made. I decided to keep an eye or ear out for that. Nevertheless, I decided to keep my observations to myself for now so just responded with, "The Force will always help us my dear." It was as I was finishing that sentence that I had an idea; one that may annoy Ahsoka slightly, but would give me the answer to what I was wondering; did she really want to leave the Order? With this in mind, I continued, "The Force is always a Jedi's best friend Ahsoka."

Her response to me was rapid and sharp, which didn't surprise me, "But I'm not a Jedi" she looked down "At least, not anymore."

A thought immediately went through my mind, 'Hmmm, she said that very quick; almost too quickly. I wonder?' In addition, I didn't need to Force to detect the slight hint of anger and remorse in her voice. The anger I expected of course; I'd made that statement deliberately for that reason but the remorse I did find really interesting; I was right. Subconsciously Ahsoka didn't want to leave. Putting on a very calm tone, I pushed the topic, but in a very subtle way, "That doesn't actually matter Ahsoka, you are still strong in the Force and it will always help you. Tell me, have you meditated recently?" I wanted to know if she had kept up any Jedi practice; hence my question about meditation.

I could sense Ahsoka's surprise at my question. Again that had been part of my plan; surprise made her think. She quickly replied, "Not really. Mind you, I don't really trust myself much with the Force right now."

Another thought flashed through my mind, 'Interesting statement, especially since she used it to aid with Barriss.' It was at this point that I realised the complexity of this case. Ahsoka had been damaged in many ways; notably trust. I also realised what a pleasant girl Ahsoka was. It seemed to me she would do anything for anyone and I hoped I could turn her into a friend as well as a patient. In addition, I could sense as she was stating that that she was indeed questioning herself as I thought. She really didn't want to leave did she but felt she had to for some reason; I decided to push that on future appointments.

In reply therefore I gave the response, "You must mediate Ahsoka, it will help you more than you realise. You may find it will answer a question you have; that question you are almost too scared to admit to yourself that you're asking. However, I must ask. Why don't you trust yourself?" I threw in the question at the end. I knew her response would be interesting.

I noticed Ahsoka wince. I could sense that she didn't want to answer that. Silently, I nodded to myself; I'd found the important part of the case. I hoped that Ahsoka did chose to answer me, though of course, she did have the right not to answer if she wished. Eventually, I heard her sigh before she finally answered me, "Ticarti, I spent almost a week on the run. On the run from my former friends. During this time I found myself having to act first and ask questions later. Once I was found innocent, I wasn't sure if I could control that; at least not at first especially after the rape and visions."

Secretly, I winced at this answer; the poor girl. She really had been destroyed by this. I was in fact amazed she was holding herself together as well as she was. Still, I had to press her more about it, but do it carefully, "So….you stopped using the Force as you thought you would lose control. That's actually a very wise path to take Ahsoka. It takes a strong spirit to realise a lack of control. So how do you feel about it now?"

I noticed Ahsoka had to stop and think again; I could sense that her feelings and emotions were all over the place at that moment. This further confirmed my suspicion about her thoughts. She suddenly replied, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I guess redeeming Barriss has helped me regain control a bit. I must admit to a hint of fear in the prison."

A hint of fear in the prison wasn't surprising; she had been incarcerated in there after all. I often get told by ex-criminals who reform that being looked in makes you scared of secure places. The fact that she ignored it and still redeemed Barriss was doubly impressive and proof, at least in my mind, that she should still be a Jedi. I'm very sad at the fact that she wasn't. I covered up my sadness, raising shields around my mind so that Ahsoka couldn't sense it and responded, "But you pushed through it. Ahsoka, that's enough for now. I will see you again. I'm going to leave you with a request; I want you to meditate on what we have discussed here and I want you to use the Force slightly. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with, but I think it will do you good. Well goodbye until our next appointment Ahsoka." I felt that Ahsoka needed to re-connect with the Force in a safe way to restore her confidence in her control.

"Goodbye Master Mai." Ahsoka responded, and I turned and walked out of the door. There was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be a difficult case.

I headed back to my quarters to review the first appointment. I always do this with new cases as sometimes, I gain extra insight with hindsight. This time however, I just confirmed to myself what I knew. Ahsoka's experiences had removed her of any trust especially of herself. There was one thing I was happy about; I didn't need to prescribe her any meds with is always of benefit.

I turned my attention to planning the second appointment which was scheduled for the following day. I wondered whether to touch on the trial and rape. It was a risk and ordinarily, I would have left it till the third or fourth appointment, but in this case, I sensed it needed to be dealt with as soon as was possible, so I added it to the list as well as her future. Like Luminara, I didn't want her living alone on Shili. People with mental health issues who are on their own often end up attempting suicide and I definitely wanted to avoid that. Still one thing was clear; she was indeed suffering from P.T.S.D. but fortunately, it wasn't quite as bad as I feared. I realised at that moment that I could help her and would not stop until I had.

**Well that's chapter 2. Please tell me your thoughts. The next chapter covers their second appointment and Ahsoka talks about her deep thoughts on the trial, the Jedi Order and her rape and Ticarti starts to steer Ahsoka away from Shili once Anakin's offer of Ahsoka living with him and Padmé comes through.**


	3. Chapter 3: Steering

**Hello everyone. I see a couple of people like this story. I'm glad. I'm sorry updates on this are slower than the main story; indeed chapter 25 of The Order Redeems is in the works as is the final chapter of A Gift Lost. Anyway, here's chapter 3 and Ticarti and Ahsoka have their second appointment. This takes place in the two day gap between chapters 11 and 12 of The Order Redeems. As before, this is Master Ticarti Mai's point of view.**

**A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 3 – Steering**

I woke up the following day to some good news; a message from Luminara informing me that the life of Barriss Offee had been spared and instead of being executed, she was going to be sentenced to some public work activities. To me, that sounded like one of the better outcomes; I must admit, even I wouldn't have been happy with her just coming straight back into the Order, but I was glad that it was an option for her future. I was especially glad for Ahsoka; I could tell just from our first meeting that this will be of great importance to her state of mind.

With that thought, I started thinking about Ahsoka's future. She couldn't stay permanently here at the temple as she wasn't a Jedi anymore but, in my opinion; neither could she go back to Shili as she was in no state mentally to live on her own. I decided that was going to be the main topic of the appointment that afternoon and I had decided to touch on her trial and rape as I had to get her to deal with that so she could make a clearer decision.

I found myself thinking of possibilities for her as I knew I couldn't ask the question without supplying possible answers. The big problem with being a counsellor sometimes is that patients think you have the answers for them. In reality, my goal is to get them to answer the questions themselves and that was certainly the intention in this case, but nevertheless, I did need to at least supply ideas which unfortunately, I didn't have. I knew from the file I read that Ahsoka actually didn't have the means to support herself.

The one thing I did have was the question she was asking herself. Since the appointment, I had been wondering constantly if she actually listened to my suggestion. I wanted her to try re-connecting with the Force as I knew the Force would try to bring that question out of her. There was no doubt in my mind that part of Ahsoka's subconscious still wanted to be a Jedi and to be honest, that's what I wanted her to be as well, but I knew I couldn't suggest that which was why I wanted her to meditate as the Force certainly could.

I began to think about the effect that her trial and rape had on Ahsoka when I heard a knock on the door. I was surprised to say the least to sense Anakin Skywalker on the other side. Mind you, on the other hand it wasn't so surprising considering how close he was to his former apprentice. I was glad he had his new Padawan, Katooni, and his wife, Padmé otherwise I shudder to think where he would have been at that point.

I opened the door and sure enough, Anakin Skywalker was standing there. He had a very serious but strangely light expression on his face and I was surprised when I sensed that he had a purpose. Putting it to the back of my mind for a moment, I stated, "Knight Skywalker, good to see you. I don't often see you. Come in."

As he followed me in, I could sense immediately that there was something important that he needed to tell me. "Master Mai," he said, "I understand that you are counselling Snips…er Ahsoka?"

Snips? Hmmm interesting; I've never known masters giving their students a nickname before. I liked it; I wish more would do that; much nicer and warmer than 'Padawan Tano'. Hiding my interest, I responded, "Yes I am and please call me Ticarti; I don't know how many times I have to tell people not to be formal around me."

He looked at me with wide eyes. In fact he almost looked at me like I'd grown a second head which I found highly amusing, "Ok Ticarti" he said with caution, "I've come to tell you something and then ask I favour."

"Go on Anakin," I replied; this was getting interesting. I knew from reputation that Anakin did not often ask favours; he had been hit by this hadn't he? I could sense the love that he had for Ahsoka. It was clear to me that he viewed her like a daughter; a view I had every intention of promoting. The thing is, I would have promoted it even before the code was altered, now it was, I was determined that if I had anything to do with it, all masters would view their padawans in the same light as Anakin did from now on.

"The thing is," he began, "the healers have told me that they will be releasing Ahsoka soon. As soon as Padmé and I heard that, we decided to ask Ahsoka to live with us."

I my opinion that was a brilliant idea and it must happen and it gave me the suggestion that I'd been searching for all morning. There was something I had to know, "Have you asked her?"

He nodded at me before he said, "Yes, just now."

I could sense his sadness and unease; don't tell me Ahsoka refused. Feeling extremely concerned I asked, "What did she say?"

He closed his eyes; the slight pain in him was evident. I began to think she had refused outright and that if she had, I would have to get her to rethink that decision. Eventually, he answered me, "She said she didn't know where she wanted to go; she'd have to think about it. She's going back to Shili; I know it."

Hmmm, he definitely leapt to a conclusion there, but by the sound of it, he wasn't altogether wrong. Yes, I would have to do something about that; at least she didn't refuse him completely. "Let me guess Anakin; you want me to convince her to live with you and Padmé?"

"If possible Ticarti." I could see the small tears that had appeared in his eyes as he continued, "Seeing her in that state all but destroyed me and her visions of Sidious drove the darkness out of me. If she goes back there, she'll end up in that state again and that will destroy me."

I couldn't disagree with him; that was what would have happened if she went back to Shili, "Yes, living with you and Padmé is the best thing for her. I will do my best to convince her, but Anakin, I'm only her counsellor; she must make that decision herself."

"I know, but do your best please. Ahsoka means everything to Padmé and me."

What could I say to an admission like that except, "I will do my best. I too believe she needs to go somewhere other than Shili."

He smiled and I could sense some relief from him. Obviously, he was worried that I wouldn't help at all; he really doesn't know me does he? I will always help. He stood up and said "Thank you Ticarti. Well, I must go; I'm training Katooni in Form V at the moment and she's taking her time."

"Goodbye Anakin" I said, "and try not to worry too much about Ahsoka; I'll make certain she's ok."

"Thank you and goodbye." I opened the door and he walked out into the corridor and walked away. I began to wonder if it was Ahsoka's lack of trust that was interfering with her decision making. The thing which did confuse me though was that I thought Anakin was the one Jedi that Ahsoka still trusted completely. If trust was her issue with Anakin's offer therefore, it must be something more subtle. I must admit, as a counsellor that fascinated me.

After Anakin left, I re-read the file and my notes from the first appointment. I wanted to make sure that I had prepared completely as this appointment was going to be a bit more of a risk than the first one. With Ahsoka obviously suffering from P.T.S.D. it is unlikely that she'll want to discuss her experience. I had already read that Obi-Wan had to coax the information out of her on Shili as she didn't want to discuss it; that's typical of sufferers.

I checked the time and realised it was time for the appointment, so I put down the file and headed for the Halls of Healing. I arrived to find Ahsoka again waiting patiently. It seemed to me that she was more comfortable in the halls than she was the day before; maybe she had been meditating as I told her to do. As soon as she saw me Ahsoka smiled and spoke up, "Hi Ticarti."

Finally, there was no formality. I smiled back and replied "Hello Ahsoka. How have you been?"

"Not too bad" she replied, "but I am slightly apprehensive. I've been told that the healers will let me out soon and I don't know what to do."

I was surprised by this straight away; I could sense that she was indeed unsure of herself. Maybe Anakin asking her to live with him and Padmé had more of an effect on her than he thought. I had to gauge my reply, "Well, we'll have work on that so you're not so apprehensive." Now was the time I decided to ask Ahsoka about meditation, "Tell me Ahsoka, have you meditated since yesterday?"

I knew the answer as soon as Ahsoka's face broke out into a smile, "Yes, I've meditated twice since you asked me to do it. It has brought me some peace." She them grimaced slightly, which I found worrying, "I was expecting the memories of what happened to me to return again; I was relieved when they didn't."

I nodded; so that was it. She has obviously had some flashbacks of the trial, rape and visions at some point. I understood at that point the real reason she didn't meditate until I told her to; it wasn't just a trust issue, she was afraid of the flashbacks returning. This was typical in P.T.S.D. and for me, confirmed my diagnosis. I decided to say something to sooth her, "As I said Ahsoka, the Force will always help you." Since she introduced her experiences, I figured that that was the perfect time to pick up on them, "Ahsoka, feel free not to answer if you don't want to, but what do you think of what happened to you now?"

I thought I'd pushed too soon initially as I noticed tears start to appear in her eyes, "I feel let down Ticarti," she replied, "and I feel violated, but I have noticed that the council are trying to make amends."

Ahsoka feeling violated was understandable; she was after all so there was no mystery there; however, I decided to ask her about being let down, "Do you still feel angry towards the council Ahsoka? You are quite within your rights to feel angry with them, but do you?"

I could sense Ahsoka's emotions cycle; she seemed to go through everyone; anger, uncertainty, shame and confusion. Truth be told, that in itself told me what I needed to know but it was confirmed when she answered, "To be honest Ticarti, I think I was more disappointed than angry most of the time. The council have known me since I was three and yet they still thought me capable of that. Mace Windu's silly comment about this being a trial finished me off on that regard." She shook her head and looked down. Well, now I know what Shaak meant when she said it was mostly Mace's fault. To my surprise, Ahsoka then continued, "However, looking back, I admit I was frightened. I think that's the main reason I left."

"Frightened?" I asked; this was new. I wondered what she was scared of.

Ahsoka's eyes filled with tears again; I could sense her remembering something unpleasant when she responded, "Ticarti, Admiral Tarkin took my dignity away; I couldn't stand myself afterwards. I was scared of what I'd become; what I would become. I now realise it was the rape that brought my visions of Palpatine out; what happened in those visions really terrified me. I knew I couldn't stop him and I was ashamed…Ashamed I was weak…Ashamed I couldn't stop Tarkin from violating me."

I could sense a damn burst as she broke down in front of me but at least she'd told me enough. As strange as it sounds, this was actually good news; now her feelings were out in the open, I could perhaps help her do something about them. I now knew exactly why she left the Order of course; she was afraid that with what she knew, she would become the next Barriss Offee. Although she didn't say it in those exact words, that was the undoubted meaning. I chose to confirm it so I asked, "So is that why you left Ahsoka? To run away from the fear of what you could become?"

Still crying she responded, "Yes. Once I knew the truth of the Republic and the Order, I thought the council didn't trust me so I couldn't tell them. I was scared that eventually the knowledge would corrupt me like it originally corrupted Barriss."

"Is that what you meant when you told me you couldn't trust yourself with the Force during our first appointment?" I asked; the answer was obvious to me, but I decided to ask anyway to hear her say it.

"Yes Ticarti, it was. I was afraid with what happened to me, the Dark Side would find its way into me," she broke eye contact with me and looked down, "like it did with Barriss."

I adopted a very calm voice; it was now vital that I break her away from this shame. Strange as it may sound, shame is very common in women that have been raped but coupled to what else had happened to Ahsoka, it was very dangerous. I was amazed by how well she was holding herself together in general and I was slightly guilty I'd made her break down, but I knew it was for the best. "It's ok Ahsoka" I said, "From one woman to another, its ok to feel shame and fear after what happened to you," I then realised I could give her some news that would help her straight away. "Remember Ahsoka, you have brought Barriss back to the light. You found the strength to do that from the Force, so maybe you can trust yourself better than you think."

Ahsoka looked at me blinking; I could sense her shock at my statement but she kept silent so I continued to give her the news, "Ahsoka, I had a message from Luminara this morning; the High Council and Chancellor Padmé Skywalker have agreed to spare Barriss' life," Ahsoka looked at me and beamed, as I continued, "they have agreed she will undertake some public work activities. Ahsoka, you have saved her life; trust me when I say, that is not the action of someone who the Dark Side has any control over. The fact that you have forgiven her proves you can be trusted with the Force."

"That's…..that's wonderful. You have made my day Ticarti," Ahsoka's glee could be sensed from Naboo; I'm sure of it. I could tell the difference that made to her straight away, "I've got my best friend back!" she exclaimed at quite a loud volume but I didn't mind.

I smiled in reply and asked, "So how do you feel now?"

"Better," she replied, "I'm glad the council have made a compassionate decision at last, and it does feel good to have my feelings out in the open."

I had to agree with her statement about the council; it was indeed good to see them making a compassionate decision for once. I began to wonder if Ahsoka walking away had a bigger effect on the council than they let on; it certainly had an effect on Obi-Wan and Shaak and it certainly had a bearing on them allowing relationships. I must remember to ask one of them at some point. I nodded to her and said, "Yes, it is always better to let your feelings out." I then decided to give another slight shove, "I know as Jedi, we were always taught to ignore our emotions, but it has been my experience that better results are often obtained when we don't ignore them."

Her response was not what I thought it would be; I expected her to leap at me and state that she wasn't a Jedi again; like she did in the first appointment but instead she replied, "Yes, well at least the Jedi Council have allowed feelings and relationships now so you don't have to hide them."

That really interested me; for the first time she didn't refute her connection to the Jedi. It made me wonder if her improving circumstances and mood were beginning to have a positive effect on her thought process. Was she beginning to think of herself as a Jedi again? I knew it was too soon to push that, but perhaps I could now start to steer her away from Shili. "Yes, that is definitely true Ahsoka; in fact, Anakin is worried about you. He came to me this morning ad told me about the offer he and his wife have made you."

Ahsoka smiled a weak smile and responded, "Yes, the offer meant a lot to me; I'm just not sure what I'm going to be doing yet."

I was certain that Anakin would like that however I was confused over her answer, "What do you think you'll do?"

She shook her head and stated, "I don't know Ticarti. Up until the last couple of days, I'd just thought I would go back to Shili, but with everything that's happened during the last couple of days, I'm not so sure anymore; I'm feeling more wanted again."

I liked that answer from her; I needed her to think more along those lines so I decided to be a tiny bit unprofessional and reinforce it. Even though I am a Jedi, I have learnt over the years that despite what the council says, being professional at all times is not always for the best. With this in mind I adopted my normal carefree attitude and voice and stated, "You will always be wanted young Ahsoka. There are people here who think the world of you. Anakin and his wife love you like a daughter; he told me so himself." Ok, I know Anakin didn't actually tell me so in words but it was undeniably true nevertheless; I could sense it.

"He told you so?" Ahsoka asked me smiling.

"More or less" I replied, "you see Ahsoka, you really shouldn't be alone. Friends, in particular friends which are like family, can help you through anything if you let them." I reminded Ahsoka of that because it was clear to me her faith in people, especially Jedi (which we all were of course), had been shaken. That was undoubtedly the reason Ahsoka hadn't agreed to Anakin's offer straight away.

She silently looked at me for a few seconds before she sighed and said, "Maybe you're right. I must admit; it wasn't looking forward to starving on Shili again."

I could sense her relief; she was slightly fearful of being alone again despite what she said. Let me tell you, that was one fear I had no intention of curing her of; the last thing I wanted her to be was alone. I decided to ask her directly, "Does that mean you'll live with Anakin and Padmé? I want you to keep coming to these sessions with me after you have been discharged from the Halls of Healing."

After a couple of seconds she said, "With that in mind, yes, maybe living with Anakin and Padmé is for the best. I still trust both of them completely after all."

I beamed at her, "That's great Ahsoka; I'll let them know. Now our next appointment is two days from now at the same time. From reading your file I think you'll be discharged tomorrow so you'll have to come back to see me. Is that ok?"

She nodded, "Yes that's fine Ticarti," she smiled, "Thank you for this. I needed someone to get my brain working again."

That was really nice of her; she really is a lovely girl. "You're welcome Ahsoka. Goodbye for now; see you in two days."

"Goodbye" she replied. I couldn't help thinking that something else was going on in her mind as I left her room. It was nothing I could put my finger on but I could sense that the Force was starting to swirl around her. I admit, I was puzzled but it would have to wait until the next appointment. For now, I'd accomplished what I wanted; in fact this appointment had gone far better than I thought. I now knew what her problems were and could start working on them and I'd got her away from living alone which I knew was the main thing.

As I got back to my quarters, I sent a message to Anakin Skywalker telling him of my success; I had no doubt that he would be very happy over that and I started to think about the third appointment. It was time to get her to defeat what was troubling her which meant getting her to think differently about events. I needed to do some research about her trial and the council's reaction. I decided to follow that up the following day; little did I know that Ahsoka was about to make an incredible decision; one that would bring happiness to everyone involved in her case.

**Well that's chapter 3; I hope you liked it. It was very difficult to write this chapter as I had to balance out hope with despair since that was the stage that Ahsoka was at during this time. I also wanted to show here that in this universe, the reasons Ahsoka initially left the Order weren't completely identical to cannon; hence the reason she could re-join in The Order Redeems. Anyway, if you have read The Order Redeems then you know the decision Ahsoka makes and the next chapter will cover Ticarti's response to Ahsoka re-joining and the third appointment will be covered where Ahsoka's own response will be dealt with.**


	4. Chapter 4: A Surprise Decision

**Hello everyone thanks for the reviews. Here is chapter 4 and this initially takes place just after Ahsoka makes her decision to re-join and we will get the immediate response of Ticarti. This chapter will also cover the third counselling session and we will see Ahsoka's own views on her decision. As normal, this is Master Ticarti Mai's point of view.**

**A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 4 – A Surprise Decision**

The following day started with news which didn't surprise me; Ahsoka was indeed going to be allowed out of the Halls of Healing and Padmé Skywalker was coming to pick her up. I was actually glad I wasn't going to see Ahsoka that day as it would give her time to settle in with Padmé; it's not every day that you get to live with the chancellor of the Republic and based on what I knew of Ahsoka's personality, it would take her some adjustment. At least she would have someone to watch over her and look after her and she would be able to see Anakin every day.

I must admit; that was definitely a worry off my mind. Even though I'm a Jedi Master, as a counsellor I always worry about my patients but for some reason I found myself worrying over Ahsoka more than I usually do. I swear, I challenge anyone to be near Ahsoka Tano for more than five minutes and not like her immediately; I could quite understand how Anakin, being her former master, loved her like a daughter and I was equally glad for him that she was now living with him and his wife.

Satisfied that Ahsoka was fine for the day, I turned my attention to other patients. I had two appointments that morning, both of them in Galactic City Hospital. After finishing my breakfast, I read up on my notes and left for the hospital; some civilian patients how needed my time. Actually, I had quite a light workload for all that week; normally I'm rushed off my feet. As a Jedi healer and a counsellor the one thing I can say is that boredom is rarely a problem for me.

It was six hours later when I finally made it back to my quarters in the Temple. The airborne traffic was terrible. What is it with people in speeders? Just because they have a speeder, they seem to think that they can fly it like an idiot. Therefore, I was tired and slightly annoyed when I entered my quarters; since I had no other duties to attend to that day, I intended to eat some dinner and maybe have a rare night off; I needed the rest.

I was slightly surprised therefore to find Master Obi-Wan Kenobi waiting for me in my lounge; what was he doing here? As soon as he saw me, he smirked, "Hi Ticarti" he quipped. He then looked at me quizzically, "Bad day?"

I had the urge to clip him one but as a Jedi, that would have been unprofessional especially with the happiness and amusement I was sensing radiating off him in waves. Not to mention it would have been a bad career move; clouting Jedi Masters who are on the council wouldn't do much to improve my standing within the Order. "Traffic" was my instant reply.

He burst out into laughter at my expense; Obi-Wan was keen on doing that. "Yes well Ticarti; now you know why I don't like flying."

Oh I wasn't going to let him get away with that, "I just thought it was because you couldn't keep up with Anakin" I returned with a smirk of my own. I could play the teasing game just as well as him if that was the way he wanted to play it. "Now, Obi-Wan; not that it isn't flattering to a girl to find a guy waiting in her room but why are you here?" It was always like that when Obi-Wan and I talked, even on serious issues. I doubt he could be serious to save his life. I agree with his attitude completely and I always try to spread teasing and fun, especially with patients.

Obi-Wan chuckled and shook his head in defeat, "You always were the same Ticarti. Anyway, I bring news and I promise you, you won't believe it."

I immediately frowned; as a healer, I'm rarely a person a council member shares important news with unless it's Shaak Ti just telling me the gossip of the day so this was interesting. "News? What news could you tell me?" I asked.

Obi-Wan smirked and said to me, "I don't know what you said to Ahsoka or how you did it, but she made an incredible decision a couple of hours ago. Anakin is still beaming about it now."

My eyes widened; an incredible decision? What decision had Ahsoka made? I took a second to study him with the Force; with the amount of surprise and joy he had it was obvious something big and amazing had happened. What could Ahsoka decide that would bring so much joy? Although I could sense joy, I was still slightly worried; I don't normally like it when patients as bad as Ahsoka was suddenly make big decisions; they are always rushed and rarely the right one. "What has she decided?" I asked.

"Ticarti" Obi-Wan began, "Ahsoka has re-joined the Jedi Order. Master Yoda knighted her immediately."

I stood there, mouth agape, in complete and utter shock. I searched Obi-Wan's Force signature for any sign of falsehood and was surprised again to find none. A wave of happiness and joy swept through me; that was certainly a good decision. I knew she still thought of herself as a Jedi and this completely confirmed it. I smiled immediately; Master Yoda knighted her? I was so happy for her; that terrible ordeal she went through certainly did count as her trials in my opinion even if it was a little foolish of Mace Windu to say it to her. I struggled to find the words to reply, which for me is rare, "That's…that's….wonderful. I'm so proud of her."

"We all are Ticarti" Obi-Wan said. He wasn't lying either; I could sense the pride radiate off him. He continued, "and you should see Anakin and Padmé. Neither of them has stopped smiling since Ahsoka's knighting ceremony and Anakin was given the rank of master and given a seat on the council."

Ahsoka's knighting ceremony? I will never forgive myself for missing that. Wait, Anakin Skywalker on the council? That's going to be interesting. Again, I was struggling for words, "I'm going to give her a big well done when I see her in our next appointment tomorrow. I'll go and see Anakin to congratulate him as well."

Obi-Wan nodded and then said, "I'm afraid Anakin, Katooni and I are going to Serenno with Master Windu tomorrow. We have intelligence that Dooku and Grievous are there."

"Ah ok," I replied, "Tell him well done from me." Inside, I was delighted to hear we had a chance to effectively end that dreadful war.

"Yeah I will do Ticarti." Obi-Wan then surprised me with what he said next, "The council have another favour to ask of you. Please can you see Ahsoka in her quarters; we feel she will be happier there as we think it will take her a while to settle in. Here is her room number." Obi-Wan handed me a hand written note with a temple room number on it.

My eyes widened again, "She's staying here in the Temple?" I instantly realised how stupid I was being; she had just re-joined the Jedi Order and had just been knighted; of course she's staying here in the temple. I could almost feel my cheeks blush as I continued "Yes certainly; it'll be a pleasure. I might have to rethink the session tomorrow now however."

Obi-Wan laughed and I felt like hitting him again as he said, "Well, I'll leave you to work on that. Good evening Ticarti." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Good evening Obi-Wan" I replied as he walked out of the door. After he left, I collapsed on the sofa in shock and joy. I knew something was going through Ahsoka's mind as I left her in our last appointment but this was far more than I was expecting. It was also everything I wanted for her and I was so glad that Master Yoda knighted her. I now knew I had to prepare her for Jedi life again. I just hoped Ahsoka would be given enough time to recover.

The thing that I found most incredible was the fact that it was only the day before that she was telling me about being scared of falling to the Dark Side. I was over the moon that the words I said to her had that much effect. I decided to check the medical terminal in my room; after confirming what I expected that our next appointment was early in the morning, I decided an early night was in order. After I ate therefore, I went to bed with one of the warmest happiest feelings I had had in a long time.

As soon as I woke the following morning, I turned my attention to my third appointment with Ahsoka; there was no doubt in my mind that it would be a different appointment than I had initially planned. I had to wonder exactly what it was that caused her to make that decision and I decided to ask her slightly about that however I must make sure to confirm to her that the decision she has made was wonderful. I instantly had an idea about that as I needed to make sure she felt wanted.

Even though Ahsoka was now a Jedi Knight, I did expect some uncertainty from her still. Evan after making a decision like that, I knew she would still be second guessing herself slightly, so this next appointment was now incredibly important. I therefore decided to concentrate on improving her self-worth and self-trust.

I spent the next hour after breakfast catching up with my notes until the time for the appointment came so I left my quarters and, looking at the room number Obi-Wan gave me, I headed for Ahsoka's quarters. Bearing in mind how early this appointment was scheduled, I amused myself slightly wondering if Ahsoka would even be up yet. She wouldn't be the first patient I've had that had slept through an appointment with me; even I wonder sometimes why appointments that early were made.

I walked up the door of Ahsoka's quarters, making sure again that I had the right room, and knocked on the door. To my relief, Ahsoka's Force signature was quite clear inside the room and I could sense she was remarkably buoyant and happy as she opened the door. Ahsoka smiled at me and she had the brightest expression on her face that she had had since I had met her. As I expected however, I could sense that there were still some concerns within her; I would have to try to deal with those. "Hi Ticarti" Ahsoka said beaming, "it's great to see you. Please come in."

I followed Ahsoka in. The quarters she had been assigned were pretty much like any other with a main living room, a refresher, a kitchenette and two bedrooms. Ahsoka sat on the sofa and invited me to sit beside her. As I sat down I said "Good to see you Ahsoka. I want you to know straight away I'm delighted with your decision. You have made everyone very happy."

"Thank you" she replied, "I did surprise myself slightly with my decision to re-join and I certainly didn't expect to be knighted."

Her words surprised me slightly; how could she surprise herself with a decision? Hmmmm, I'd have to give some that some thought before I asked her about it. I could understand her surprise about being knighted however, "Yes, congratulations on that Ahsoka; I'm so happy for you." I made sure to give her a genuine smile. I then decided to ask her a slight question, "How do you feel about the Jedi Order now Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka frowned at me slightly. I could sense a few conflicting feelings in her and she seemed to be thinking of a response. This confirmed my suspicions about her concerns. Eventually, she responded, "To be honest Ticarti; although I have forgiven the Order and the council, I still have reservations." She closed her eyes as she continued, "I still don't know if I feel part of this Order again."

I was slightly amazed by Ahsoka's ability to forgive; she had forgiven Barriss in a similar manner and now, she had just forgiven the council however, it was clear to me that she still had trust issues. I couldn't blame her of course; anyone would have trust issues after her experiences but I still needed to try and do something about it, "Don't worry Ahsoka, it will take some time but there are people here who will help you. I'll help you fit in again."

Ahsoka smiled at me again, "Thank you again. I…I…I think I will need all the help I can get."

The slight hint of fear within her was clear to detect in the Force. I guessed she was still concerned about the Dark Side. Although I was certain that's what she meant, I decided to confirm it, "Why do you say that?"

Ahsoka looked up at me, then closed her eyes and sighed. I could sense she had something she needed to say but I wasn't sure if she was going to. Eventually she said, "Ticarti, I know my decision to re-join the Order yesterday was the right decision but as I said I didn't expect to be knighted. I'm delighted to be a full blown knight of course but I expected to have a master to help….help me with the Force and help me get used to missions again."

Ah, so that was it; she was scared of going through the rest of her recovery alone. I quite agreed with her fear, I didn't want her to alone either. I instantly had two ideas; I smiled immediately and said, "Ahsoka, I tell you what; if you need help on your first missions then I'll come with you." I could immediately sense the improvement in her emotions and she beamed at me widely. I then continued, "Also Ahsoka, I'll have a word with Master Yoda; I'm sure he'll help you to trust yourself with the Force again; that is, if you want it."

She practically screamed her answer to me, "Yes definitely."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her; Ahsoka had such enthusiasm for everything she set her mind about doing and that included her recovery and it was great to see such brightness within her. I responded, "Ok Ahsoka, I'll speak with him when I get a chance." With Ahsoka seeming happy again, I decided to ask her the question I had been dying to ask her since Obi-Wan told me about her re-joining the day before, "Ahsoka, can I ask what finally convinced you to come back into the Order?"

Ahsoka looked at me with a bright happy expression on her face. I wondered for a second why she had to think about it but I was surprised by her answer, "I realised how much everything had changed since Skyguy….er…Master Skywalker brought me back for treatment."

Skyguy? Yep, that definitely worked as a nickname for Anakin Skywalker; no doubt about that. I realised at that moment why Anakin called her Snips. I had to stifle a laugh behind my hand and I was delighted to see some of Ahsoka's natural nature starting to come out again. I was happy with her answer but I did want her to clarify things slightly, "What had changed Ahsoka?" Of course I had a fair idea what she would say but I wasn't totally certain.

If possible, her face brightened even more as she answered immediately, "I realised I didn't need to fear anymore; Tarkin has been arrested and Palpatine was killed so my visions can no longer come true. In addition Ticarti, I have witnessed the change in the Order especially the attachment rule being abolished and I have also sensed how sorry the council were over the way they treated me. Finally, being able to save Barriss really helped my mental status; it all made me feel wanted again."

I really liked that answer; I did sense that there was more to it than that but I decided that it didn't matter, she had told me the important part. There was one thing I wanted to touch on however as it would be important for future appointments, "Are there any problems you have left Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka grimaced slightly, which considering the question I asked was not surprising. I could sense a slightly sad tinge within her as she stated, "I…..I'm still not sure about the clones; I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust them again. They turned on me without the slightest question of my guilt and of course I'll never forget the visions I had of Jedi being killed by clones even though it has been prevented."

I had to admit, I'm sure I went pale at hearing that; the file I had read on her case had told me she had had visions of Darth Sidious and Order 66, but the file never said what was in those visions. I felt sick myself after that no wonder poor Ahsoka was terrified initially. I knew I would have to address that with her at some point but it would definitely have to be in a future appointment. I didn't want to destroy the air of happiness that she had at that moment. With that in mind, I touched on a practical subject, "Do you know what you will be doing here in the temple until your first mission Ahsoka?"

"Only that Master Yoda said I would be given time to recover" she replied, "other than that, I have no idea what I will be doing."

I nodded; I made a note to myself to look into activities for Ahsoka as I didn't want her to be bored. For now I just responded, "Well I don't want you to be alone Ahsoka." I also decided that now was the first safe moment to tell Ahsoka what was wrong with her as it was my duty to tell her at some point, "Also Ahsoka, I will be looking into things for you to do to occupy yourself as I think you are suffering from something called P.T.S.D. or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to give it its full name." Ahsoka gave me a worried look which I immediately jumped on, "Don't worry Ahsoka, it's just a fancy medical term saying that your experiences have caused you mental distress and I'm relieved to say your case is relatively mild."

I could tell Ahsoka was still slightly worried when she asked, "Can it be cured?"

I adopted a very calm tone as I responded, "I can help you with it Ahsoka. I promise you that it can be beaten it will just take a bit of time and you may feel worse on the odd occasions."

I could sense that Ahsoka was relieved and I could sense her reach into the Force; I was interested in how good she was at doing that. With a new found strength she stated, "I'll beat it Ticarti. I know I will."

I smiled at her answer, "That's an excellent attitude Ahsoka and we will start on that in the next appointment at the beginning of next week. Until then Ahsoka, I want you to spend time with people and meditate. As I promised, I will have a word with Master Yoda for you."

"Yes, I will" she replied still smiling, "Thank you."

I stood up and started to head for the door, "Goodbye Ahsoka. I'll see you next time."

"Goodbye Ticarti."

I smiled and left Ahsoka's quarters and walked back to my own quarters. I knew that appointment hadn't accomplished much in terms of Ahsoka's treatment but it had confirmed to me that her brain was working considerably better than it was before and had told me that the main problems she had were still the same, faith and trust.

As I entered my quarters and sat down, I decided to start the process of curing Ahsoka for want of a better phrase. I decided to see Master Yoda as soon as was possible but unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to see him that day as I had other appointments with other patients. Realising I still had to research about the council's actions and views, I decided therefore to tackle both things at once so I immediately contacted Master Yoda and asked him for a meeting the following morning. Once done, I turned my attention to my next patient that day.

**Well, that's chapter 4 and a deliberately slightly different chapter this time. I wanted to demonstrate that Ticarti is telling this story to kids so she will throw in the occasional view point or observation hence the reason why the occasional comment here is in present tense; it was quite deliberate. Also I wanted to show that Ticarti is still human so she has her annoyances like everyone; hence the comment about the traffic. If you notice, Ticarti wasn't so prepared for this appointment; that was also so deliberate to show how surprised she was with Ahsoka re-joining.**

**Anyway, next chapter; Ticarti has a meeting discussing Ahsoka's treatment with Master Yoda and Ticarti has a visitor who lets her in on a plan to cheer up Ahsoka; her ship.**


	5. Chapter 5: Plans and Questions

**Hi everyone; thank you to everyone who reads this story and of course those who read the others. Anyway, here is chapter 5 and Ticarti has a meeting with Master Yoda about Ahsoka's on-going treatment and she asks about the council's opinion and someone visits Ticarti about a plan to cheer Ahsoka up. As normal this is Master Ticarti Mai's point of view.**

**A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 5 – Plans and Questions**

Like most people, waking up in the morning is not high on my list of pleasures but unfortunately, it has to be done. I quickly checked my terminal to see if there had been any developments and to my relief, Master Yoda had agreed to my meeting. I knew Ahsoka was going to need help to feel comfortable with the Force again and he was certainly the best Master for the job. I don't know what I would have done if Master Yoda had have refused but of course, he's only just agreed to meet with me not agreed to my request; I'd have to convince him of that.

I spent the hour until the meeting eating breakfast and checking up on notes. I sometimes wonder if ninety per-cent of my role in the temple is catching up with notes; even in the Jedi Order, paperwork seems to govern everything.

Checking the chrono, I made my way to Master Yoda's quarters. I am always nervous when I have a meeting with the grandmaster, but for some reason I was even more nervous than usual that day. I knew that this was crucial for Ahsoka. Her decision to re-join the Order had brought joy to everyone and now I needed to make sure she was fully supported; she must not be abandoned again. It is for this reason that, for once, I would act with respect and with formality. I would probably hate myself afterwards but still, Ahsoka's treatment must come first; even before my dislike of formality.

I composed myself before I knocked on the door of Master Yoda's quarters. It was a few seconds before I heard Master Yoda beckoning me inside, "Enter you may Master Mai." I heard him chuckling and I inwardly groaned at his deliberate pun.

I opened the door and sat down; for the life of me I will never know why Yoda doesn't have normal chairs or sofas like everyone else. "Good morning Master Yoda" I replied.

"Wish to speak about young Tano you do Master Mai" he stated. Yoda's ability to determine what you want never ceases to amaze me. I sometimes think that he would be a better counsellor than me.

"Yes Master" I answered; this formality was driving me nuts, but I had to endure it, "I'm amazed by her decision to re-join the order, but I need to discuss how it will affect her treatment."

Master Yoda smiled. I could tell instantly that it was a genuine smile. His voice was as bright as his could be as he responded, "Brought warmth to my heart her decision has; Redeemed the whole Order it did."

That was an interesting response. He thinks it redeemed the whole order? I decided that this was the perfect time to find out about some of the council's views on this; I had to ask carefully however, "You believe the Order failed her Master?"

Yoda's ears and eyes dropped to the floor. Normally, I can't get any reading of Master Yoda but on this occasion, even I could sense some sadness radiating off him. Was it possible that I asked an awkward question? To this day, I sincerely hope so. "Failed her we did. Turned against one of our own we have. Saved us from darkness by re-joining young Tano has."

Saved us from darkness? Well I suppose in a way Ahsoka has; it was her visions that told us about Palpatine but I also wondered if Yoda believed there was darkness in the council, "Darkness Master?"

"Blinded by the dark side we were; lost the will of the Force we did. Helped us learn the truth about the Force young Tano did."

That surprised me; he did feel that there was darkness in the council. It was obvious; I didn't think Yoda would ever feel like that and it led to a question that I wanted to ask, "Master, I am very happy that Ahsoka was knighted but can I ask why she was knighted?"

Yoda chuckled at me and I could see the upward turn of his mouth, "Always inquisitive you are; comes from your profession it does." He then chuckled again, "Pass worse trials than any we could give her young Ahsoka did. Unbroken despite the damage she is. Strong enough to redeem Padawan Offee she was; serve her well eventually those experiences will but recover she must; hurt she has been."

I was a little disappointed by Yoda's answer as I was hoping for a bit more detail but I realised that I had to let it pass. "Yes, that's what I need to discuss with you Master. During our last couple of sessions, Ahsoka told me that she still didn't totally trust herself with the Force. She had a fear that she was in danger of falling to the dark side and I believe that was one of the main reasons she left the Order to begin with."

"Sensed that myself I have" he responded, "but in no danger of falling she is; no darkness do I sense in her."

"I agree Master" I replied. I knew for definite that Ahsoka would never fall to the dark side; her redemption of Barriss Offee was proof of that. I nodded and then continued, "However Master, I think that she needs help to be able to see it for herself. I was wondering if you would help her reconnect with the Force."

I watched as Yoda closed his eyes for a moment. Everyone knows that he does that when he asks the Force a question although what he needed to ask on that occasion was beyond me. "Help her I will; owe her that I do."

I smiled; that was just what I wanted to hear, "Thank you Master; it'll really help her."

Master Yoda chuckled again and he gained an amused smile, "Become fond of your patient you have counsellor."

What could I say? It was true. I answered carefully "Yes I have Master Yoda. Ahsoka has that effect on people."

He nodded in agreement, "Has that effect she does; serve us well in our new beginning it will. Need to be more aware of feelings we do. An idea to help her more I have. Need to discuss it with the chancellor I do."

New beginning? Wow, Master Yoda was definitely in agreement with the change of code wasn't he? Wait, an idea to help her? I had to ask about that, "What idea Master?"

Again he laughed at me; he was in an amused mood that morning; more so than normal. His answer was cryptic, "Sensed love in her I have; heal her it will."

Ahsoka was in love? This was news to me and I wasn't sure that I totally believed it but if she was then I also had to make full use of it. Now there were no rules against it in the order, she was free to pursue it. I decided that I would watch for any signs of love in our future appointments and if I found it, I would do my best to convince her to act on it. I know from my civilian patients how powerful a medicine being in love can be; not to mention acts of love. It's one of the main tools I use when dealing with civilian patients; now I could use it with Jedi patients also and now I knew it was possible with Ahsoka, I decided I would use it with her. Still, I couldn't hide my surprise at his statement, "Ahsoka's in love Master? I haven't sensed that; are you sure?"

"Certain I am Master Mai, but require the aid of young Skywalker and his wife I do. Speak to them I will."

To say I was stunned would be an understatement but he was the grandmaster; I couldn't say anything against his idea, "I hope you're right Master; it would certainly help her. Do you know who she is in love with?"

I quickly caught a smirk on his face; there was no doubt in my mind that Master Yoda was planning something slightly evil. If so, I would definitely go along with it; evil plans are the best plans if they are used for the right reasons. "An idea of who it is I have, but say no more will I. Needs to be a surprise it does; fit in with the chancellor Skywalker's plan it will."

Chancellor Skywalker's plan? What was Padmé going to do for Ahsoka? It seemed to me that everyone intended to help Ahsoka; mind you, the poor girl deserved all the help that she could get and this was further proof of just how loved Ahsoka Tano was and still is to this day. I decided at that moment that I needed to catch up with everyone before my next appointment with Ahsoka to determine if they needed me to steer her in any particular direction. I will do anything for the wellbeing of my patients. I nodded in response; there was no point asking any more about it. Master Yoda definitely wouldn't tell me. "Well thank you for your time Master. I'm glad you will help Ahsoka."

"Look after your patient you must. Important for the Order's new direction she is."

I slightly frowned at Yoda's words; was that another slight reason she was knighted when she decided to re-join? I guess it didn't matter. "I will Master" I replied. I bowed and headed out the door. During this talk, Yoda had confirmed a few things that I had suspected; the council had been slightly affected by the dark side and Yoda believed that Ahsoka forgiving them and re-joining had gone a long way towards purging it and as I thought, the council accepted the ordeal that Ahsoka went through as her trials of knighthood. The only question I had left was why the attachment rule was scrapped and I was sure the truth would come out. It didn't really matter; the important thing was that it had been scrapped and it looked like Ahsoka was going to benefit and Master Yoda had agreed to help her gain confidence with the Force.

I was smiling therefore on the way back to my quarters and since I had no patients as it was the weekend, I decided to spend the afternoon watching the holoNet; being a Jedi Master, a healer and a counsellor, I don't get much chance to watch it and it's nice just to relax for a while. I entered my quarters, made a cup of tea and turned on the holo projector. After finding something interesting, I settled in to watch.

I had been watching for a few hours. To be honest, I'd lost track of time as I'd found a rather interesting medical documentary. I may be a counsellor but I'm still a healer as well and I'm just as interested in the physical aspects of Force healing. The programme had just finished when I was interrupted by a knock on my door. I was confused as I wasn't sensing a Force signature which meant my visitor wasn't Force sensitive which was odd considering I live in the middle of the Jedi Temple.

I opened the door and almost fell to the ground when I saw who my visitor was. Why was Chancellor Padmé Skywalker visiting me? I inwardly cursed when I realised that again, I had no option but to be formal, "Chancellor Skywalker, please come in."

"Jedi Master Ticarti Mai yes?" she asked me as she followed me inside my quarters.

"That's correct Chancellor, although I prefer to just be called Ticarti" I replied.

She smirked at me, "I see I'm not the only woman that hate's formality then. Being the chancellor I have to bare it but I much prefer informal activities."

"I agree" I replied; I liked her already and I could see why Anakin married her. "Please, sit down."

She sat down on my sofa and I could sense mischief within her; she was here with a plan then. I wondered if she was going to fill me in on her plan that Master Yoda had mentioned earlier in the day. "Anakin has told me that you are Ahsoka's counsellor" she began, "Is that right?"

Hmmm, it seemed to me that I was correct, "Yes I am. What can I do for you?"

She smiled, "I suspect my husband has told you about how much Ahsoka means to him and me. Well as the chancellor of the Republic, I want to make it up to her for how she was treated."

"Go on" I prodded. This was getting interesting; she was definitely planning something.

Padmé smiled again and started to tell me her plan "Anakin, as you may know loves ships and he has told me that he has passed that love of ships on to Ahsoka although she doesn't admit it that often. So I have the got the senate to agree to my plan and Anakin has got the Jedi High Council to agree."

"Ships?" I questioned, "What plan?" I admit I was being slightly foolish here but hey.

Padmé laughed at me slightly and then answered, "We have had a ship designed that we are going to build for Ahsoka. We are keeping it a secret and I aim to present the finished ship to her in about a month."

I could feel my eyes widen and I gaped at her. Wow, that was certainly a plan. I had to admit, it was a wonderful thought and seeing the senate doing something nice for once did make a change. I didn't know that Ahsoka loved ships but if she did, Padmé's plan would blow the girl's mind. I realised that this plan wouldn't really affect Ahsoka's treatment but I was certainly glad that I had been informed. "That is a wonderful thing to do chancellor, but can I ask why?"

Padmé's face become serious all of a sudden and I could sense a change in her emotions. There was definite anger in her and I thought for a second that she was angry with me for asking the question. As it turned out however, I was fortunately wrong. "What the senate, military and Jedi Council did to that girl was deplorable. My husband and I have thought of Ahsoka as a daughter ever since she was first assigned to Anakin. Although it all but destroyed Anakin, I couldn't blame her in the slightest for leaving so when Ahsoka forgave everyone and re-joined, I became determined immediately that we would repay her and I decided that everyone who had hurt her would be involved. With her love of ships, I realised that was the best choice as the senate could commission the ship whilst the Jedi Council could help design it for Ahsoka's role as a Jedi."

At that moment I could tell that I had tears in my eyes. Like every girl, I admit that I weep about things like this. It did leave me with one question however, "Chancellor, I know that Ahsoka was originally going to move in with you and Anakin. What did you think when Ahsoka made her decision to re-join the Jedi Order?"

Her face instantly brightened, "I was looking forward to Ahsoka moving in and I was considering whether to adopt her but when I heard Ahsoka ask the Jedi Council to be reinstated as a Jedi my heart just filled with joy especially when I watched Master Yoda knight her. I admit, I squealed like a little girl; even more so when Anakin was raised to a Master and given a seat on the council. I have never seen Anakin as happy as he was when we made home that day. That is when I knew I had to do something for Ahsoka to say thank you."

I smiled at her, "Yes, I bet that did please Anakin" I replied, "he seemed a touch distraught when he came to see me but that was before Ahsoka agreed to move in with you and him. I can only imagine how he felt after she re-joined."

Padmé laughed, "Anakin was ecstatic I assure you. If I'm allowed to ask, how is Ahsoka doing? "

I bit my lip slightly here; doctor patient confidentiality did apply in this situation. Although I was allowed to share Ahsoka's progress with the Jedi Council because of necessity, I was limited in what I could say to someone outside the order. "She is better than she was chancellor but she still needs some help. It will be some time before I can allow her on missions."

"I see" she replied, "It's good that she is getting better. Well Ticarti, I'm needed back at the senate; we are still trying to undo some of the horrible surprises that Palpatine had in store." She stood up and walked to the door.

I stood up too and followed her out, "Good bye Chancellor. Thank you for telling me about your plan and I promise; I won't breathe a word about it to Ahsoka."

"You better hadn't" she joked, "Well, goodbye." With that, she left my quarters and I closed the door behind her. I sat back down on my sofa and I thought about everything I had heard that day. Both Master Yoda and Chancellor Padmé Skywalker had plans to help Ahsoka and according to Yoda, the two plans fit together. I admit; I was looking forward to seeing the ship that had been designed as I had never heard of something like this. I suppose Padmé was also taking advantage of the change of code; there was no way her plan would have been allowed before, but now, the council had already agreed. Yes, I was definitely interested in that.

It was still the fact that Ahsoka was in love that was the most important to me however and I began to wonder whether to secretly enquire during the next appointment with Ahsoka. I was undecided so I determined the best option would be to just listen plus I had a couple of days still to think about it. As I sat back in front of the holoNet again, I decided that I would get some lightsaber practice the following day. I may be a healer and a counsellor but I'm still a Jedi and needed to keep my skills up.

**Well that's chapter 5 and this gives some background to the two surprises that are given to Ahsoka in the Order Redeems; her ship and Lux. I wondered with myself just how much detail to go into with this chapter; I hope I got the balance right. Next chapter, Ticarti goes to practice and it ends up very eye opening for her and she learns even more about her patient and we catch the next appointment.**


End file.
